So I would like to start out by stating that the past year has been a cluster of complications left and right for me. From dealing with back problems, to the emotional roller coaster as a stay at home mother, I think it’s about time to try and change my life for the better.
I’m a twenty-four year old mother living at home with a fourteen year old step-daughter, an eight year old stepson, my three year old wild child, and my loving husband of three years. I never thought that I would be at this point. Next week, I have an appointment with a nutritionist downtown, and I haven’t been more terrified about going anywhere in my life. “WHY“, you ask? It’s because I have a severe weight problem bearing down on top of me.
It all started after I had my cesarean section instead of natural birth of my three year old, Gary. I could never really get back on track to my old lifestyle. Staying in, taking care of the house and the kids…It became a natural routine for me. So when I wanted to start exercising again, I came up with a load of excuses not too. I know I shouldn’t have any excuse what so ever to not exercise. One excuse led to another thus creating the new “me”.
I never really had any real problems until last year. I started having severe upper back pain early in the year. It has progressed to the point where it’s a complete nuisance. I believe I am on five different types of medicines that controls different problems going on with my body. I have a medication for the pain, along with a pain reliever that I can get off the shelf. Then I have 2 different types of muscle relaxer, and on top of it all, I have to take antacids to keep my stomach in check everyday. It’s a pain to have to take medication to control what is going on with my body.
I have gotten multiple tests done, and many different diagnoses for my problem. NOT one of them was COMPLETELY blamed on weight. Most of it was diagnosed to be a torn muscle, and another doctor told me it was weakness in my arms. I had my main physician tell me it was just muscle spasms. This is why I am on so many different medicines for this one stupid problem I am having. I took it upon myself last year to start a weight loss regiment so I could feel better and much healthier.
Unfortunately, I haven’t had much success. Yes..I will admit I have lost a total of forty-five pounds and that I do feel a little bit better about my situation. The only problem is that as I have lost weight, my back problems seem to be getting much worse. I have limited myself to walking up and down the stairs, and walking/jogging short distances. Plus, my food intake is not where it needs to be. I barely consume 1,000 calories a day, from which I was told was very dangerous. Apparently my body is going into hibernation and storing all the fat I want to get rid of.
The reason why I am so scared of going to the nutritionist next week is because I am terrified of change. I am so scared to change my lifestyle of eating because I will have to change the way I shop. It will make it difficult to feed the children at home because they are so picky. How am I going to resist temptation on something that I love if I have to bring it back into the house? It would be easy to shop, but getting into a new routine is going to absolutely tear me to shreds.
Don’t get me wrong, I am completely open to new ideas for making my lifestyle better. It’s just hard to incorporate them into my daily life. This is the reason why I want to take a stand for my health. I know if I could get back into a healthy lifestyle, my back problems will get better, I will feel much better, and I would get my confidence back.
I am going to be blogging twice a month on the struggles and progress of my weight loss journey. Goal number one is this week…Go and join a gym. I know the YMCA has many activities the family could enjoy along with a gym. I plan on signing up for a year round membership, hopefully for myself and my family. I also will be planning to participate in the zumba classes if my Y offers any.
So, I hope this year has a better outcome than last year. Hopefully for my health, and weight loss results 🙂